I was at a salon some weeks back, to braid the famous corn row I saw every where ( do you know i boldy argued with one of my friends that it is called corncrow instead of corn row?? Chai!!! Shame "cash" me no be small when I found out I was wrong).
Anyway my "corn crow" did turn out well..*tongue out*
On arriving there, the girls were really excited. One of their favourite customers was around...yeaa..thats moi!! I saw their kids who were babies when I left that area..so grown...but they recognized me.
I took in my surrounding, some things had changed. The shop beside the salon had a new sales girl, though I preferred the last one. Her akwaibom intonation, coupled with her forever short flair skirts, always left me smiling. There was a new person selling across the road too, roasted chicken. But basically, things were still normal.
Mama Eman beating up her son as usual for eyeing somebody's drink...and Obiah, forcing her baby to eat solids. it was all the same.
I noticed this elderly man in the shop next to us. He wore a coat (i no fit call that thing suit)..with a shirt tucked in and a tie. He sat on a chair just outside the shop, had a briefcase beside him, smoking a cigarrette and looking very important. I didnt care much about him until Obiah left attending to my hair mid way, saying she wants to run a test.
I asked her, are you sick?? Is every thing all right?? She said she wants the doctor outside to test her, and prescribe drugs for her.
I asked, is there a doctor outside I didnt see?? She said yes!! The man in the coat. Ahh!! I said I must witness this. Who no like better thing??
I carried my chair outside to watch the drama unfold. He had just finished attending to one "patient"...at the same time puffing his cigarrette away.
My darling Obiah went and took a seat. I was all eyes and ears because I couldnt wait to see the equipment he would bring out, to diagnose every ailment.
This man brought out a fancy thermometer!! You know that type we see in the movies that they use for kids...not the glass one we see regularly. This devil brought it out!!! He placed it in the inner part of her elbow and told her to hold her arms firmly in place.
I just kept looking in shock, hands under my chin, waiting for his diagnosis and how to finish him. I no dey miss this kind thing.
He checked the thermometer and told her that her temperature is 40 degree celcius!! My goodness!!!! He asked her if she experienced abnominal pains once in a while, to which she said yes, (please which woman doesnt experience the normal cramps??! Rme*)
Mr Doctor now told her that she has an infection!! From where I was sitting, I shouted chai!!! She asked him, what kind of infection doctor?? He said bacterial infection, that she had yeast infection. I was stunned!! And he said it with all amount of seriousness. He told her not to trust the medicine doctors in the hospital prescribe, and proceeded to bring out one green bottle filled with an unknown liquid. My head scatter!!
I got up with my hair half done, told the doctor I needed him to check me up too, that I needed to be sure about my health status. He put the thermometer on my arm, looking all concerned!!
After 5minutes which felt like eternity to me, he looked at it closely and still told me the same 40 degree celcius he told her. Chai!! I now asked him, so what is wrong with my body?? He said I have diabetes!!! Emi?!!!! Dia ogini???? I told him, so just from my "temperature"...you can tell whats wrong with me?? He said yes!!
I collected the thermometer., asked him to bring out his arm, then I put it there. I told him to hold on for few seconds, that I was just fascinated by this wonder equipment. He obliged.
After few minutes, I took it off and looked at it. It was still at 40 degree celcius. With my most serious face, I told him, Ah Doctor, you have Hepatitis B and cancer of the lung. He shouted God forbid!! I asked him what the problem was, he said how did I know he has those kind of diseases, I said, just the same was you know I have diabetes, so from your assumed temperature, I could see Hepatitis B in your blood stream...
He was fuming as he hurriedly packed his belongings and left. If looks could kill, his look would have murdered me and buried me all at once. But I was there forming warrior...I said, no o, come and sit here and deceive yourself!!! Namsense and ingredients!!
Mr Dokita!! Fear God oo....infact you need to fear the king of glory!! me have diabetes abi?? Then Doctor you have Hepatitis B!!
End of discussion!!
JustVikkytorya
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