Whenever there's a discussion about dogmeat with my friends, you can actually see darts of fire flying from their eyes as they turn to look at me, and i'm like what???? They just start laughing at me.
What is it with calabar and akwaibom folks??...why are we always the culprits?? I never believed the whole dogmeat thing, always felt it was a myth until that beautiful and sorrowful day.
I remember how and when we lost our first dog, mehn it happened like Africa magic, you know how ghost disappears in Naija movies...ehen!!
Her name was Tempest. She was loveable!! A warrior princess. She eats anything you give her, not the silly dog we later had that would eye you up and down when you put eba...mtcheew!!
Nobody dared knock on our gate anyhow, even her bark was enough to make you forget your clothes at the gate as you run away. She had the most beautiful puppies, which we gave out, or were crushed (imagine an own goal scenario, dont ask me, it's still painful).
Rest in peace Tempest, you are dearly missed!! *wipes eyes*. Those evil wicked, hateful, scumbags. Nincompoop..pheeew!! Let me reserve my words for them and get back to how you, my dear tempest disappeared.
Tempest knew the better dogs to follow, not any dog could mount her. She looked for her suitors, searched them out. Those handsome Alsatians would just be eyeing my Tempest anyhow and she would lure them close to the house, she never went far away. Then they would do what they know how to do well.....i am not elaborating on that, swerve!!!
Tempest was coming home from one of her waka, she was about crossing from the other side of the street when a motorcyclist from nowhere, carrying a male passenger hit our beloved dog. To the ordinary eye, you would think it was a mere accident, but the next thing that happened shocked me. The passenger jumped down, dragged the dog into his sack, jumped on the motorcycle and they sped off.
Ghen Ghen!!! Did this just happen?? Nah!! I was daydreaming. I cleaned my eyes and looked at the road, I could still see the patch of blood on the road. This whole experience took less than 5minutes...wow!!! It just hit me that our dog had been captured...to be killed and eaten!!
Since that day, I hated the thought of dogmeat because it reminded me of our dog, I wont even listen to any excuse you had for eating dogmeat. It completely disgusted me.
Sooooo, fast forward to almost 6months later. I was at a youth camp, and you know how the food dey be....no be from my mouth you go hear say okro soup dey draw.
I had this friend who said he would come visit our camp and bring goodies. I was delighted.
In the evening, during break time, he drives in, with a foodflask which had hot steaming plantain porridge, cooked with scent leaves, fresh pepper and lots of oil...not forgetting the huge chunks of meat!!
Mehn!! I was blessed. I sat down with my friend and we attacked the food. It was delicious trust me!! I started eating the meat, it tasted off...but I didnt mind, I was munching away like a starved princess. I was in food network cloud nine, dunno if there is any other cloud nine..*side eye*.
Fast forward again to 3 months later, I ran into my good samaritan friend, who brought that delicious meal to the camp for me. I couldnt help but thank him again and remind him of how he saved us from "hunger games". He was like ohhhhh!! You mean that plantain porridge and dogmeat?? It would have been better with palm wine.
Huh?????!!! My head literally went blank that moment...and my okpolor eyes doubled in shock!!....as soon as he said dogmeat...every other word coming out of his mouth sounded like woof!! woof!! Woof!! Emmiiiii!!! I ate dogmeat???!!! My life was over!! How did I allow longthroat cloud my judgment concerning the taste of that meat?? Chai!! It has be!! The shock was amazing!!
I was looking at him and all I saw was my hand smacking him across the face about 600 times. I just wiped his name off friends list...straight to probation for making me do that to the memory of Tempest!!
Since then, I chose not to ever knowingly eat dogmeat....
arrrrrgghhhhhh!!! *grabs bucket*....
Be right back!!
JustVikkytorya
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