FROM THE EYES OF A CHICKEN

What is this life but a pot of boiling water and maggi cubes. Seeing as that's my eventual fate. I don't think it's quite the befitting end to what I expected. You would think that things would be a tad easy seeing as I don't have to bother with the arduous task of waking up in the morning to brush my teeth and shower. Oh my bad! I do wake up early and that's because that cock doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut. 

What??! You think I can't say it to his face that he's a cock? What do you take me for? A chicken? You are right, either ways I am a chicken. 

I can't exactly remember when I was born, as you know we don't have calendars. I was the product of a street romance. Mother told me she was chased round unity close at ikeja, and somewhere between toyin street and ikeja under bridge, Father caught up with her and proceeded to mount her while planting kisses on her neck.

Yea, so there I was, conceived in glory, looking like a fly egg when I popped out of mother's behind. Father didnt exactly stay to be the breadwinner of the family as he could only manage to pick up few grains as days passed, before mother could say "cock-a-doodle-do", father had eloped with another chick.

The life of a chicken isn't exactly an easy one. Daily running from un-cultured humans, drunk stupid drivers and making sure we dont stop infront of bukas to catch a breath. I mean, you guys get all loud about kidnapping, you dont hear us go all cuckoo when our brethren get nabbed. Walk into your nearest restaurant and what do you see? BAM!! Rolling on some grill, you see Julius, nude and roasting. I mean Julius ruled the street, was feared by all, and there he is, ROLLING ON A GRILL!! We don't get no rest *tears* and you look in the show glass and you see Ahmed, Francis and Chidera (ofcos beheaded to death). You guys never chill. 

Its not even funny anymore, we don't rest. Now is that time of the year where we experience the highest amount of missing persons, highest rate of murders, we cant deal anymore. Every holiday season basically involves our lives at risk. What is wrong with you people? What happened to murdering pigs and goats n cows? Why don't you even murder those wannabe gutless idiot turkey as much as you do us? I mean it used to be spread out in time past but now you guys dont even wait for the special holidays, y'all just be eating chickens daily like we don't matter.

And you moslems, what happened to killing rams on YOUR holiday?? Oh they are not good enough now?? I dont see where it said that Ibrahim saw a chicken up 

on the mountain when he wanted to kill Isiaka. I don't see that so what is your problem??

It will be christmas soon, and many of us are going to lay down our lives for the sake of your celebration. I really dont get it, u say a saviour was born on this day, and he died so that all who believe in him might be saved and live. No one listens to us when we say we believe in Jesus, No! No one listens when we recite our Hail Marys and plead the blood just before our throats are slit. And if he died for us, why am I being killed for him?

As you put one of my brothers or sisters in a cage or tie us to some pole somewhere, remember you are doing us a great injustice and violating our fundamental rights to life. And all that rubbish you feed us in the name of food, the lord forgive you all for that.

Sigh!!

And yea, why do you all have to kill is by slicing our throats? I dont see humans having their throats sliced on the regular. Here's a suggestion, how abt u poison us with some food supplements? I dunno, drop something in our food, we'll gladly slump and die. Oh!! That puts you at risk of eating poisoned chicken...Tell me something I didnt know? And oh! Plucking off our feathers, cant y'all like be easy?? Some of us saved a lot for our gucci feathers. You cant just be all up in our business ripping it apart.

Basically, these are just my last words, I know where i'm headed, some pot mixed with tomatoes, oil and maybe some vegetables. I've accepted my fate, I lay down my life so you can have a merry christmas. This is my contribution to earth.

Signed

Kelvin's chicken

NOTVikkytorya

I read this piece by an anonymous writer in a Sterling Bank magazine, and I loved it!!! I guess you will too.